The people that want to go back to work are the people who need to work. In other words, low income people. These people makeup the Democrats base. If we allow them to go back to work, there's a good chance they will perish. If they die, there won't be enough liberals to vote for a Democrat running for president. The Democrat party is trying to keep these people, their base, alive until November.
No one knows if there's a life after death nor what that's like. So it would be prudent to plan for it now. Which is why I want to extend the following deal to anyone who reads this an accepts the terms and conditions.The deal: If I die before you, I will save you a seat. If you die before me, you will save me a seat. My daughter asked me how I know there will be chairs. I don't. But I have no intentions of standing for all eternity.The terms and conditions: We do not know how many chairs we can save nor for how long. Therefore, the only requirement is that you try to save a seat within the parameters they have set.How to accept: Simply post "I accept" to this post. As soon as I "like" your post, the deal will become binding.I used to make this offer only to people older than me but then I realized that I could maximize my chances of getting a seat if I were to extend the offer to everyone. It is for this reason that I encourage everyone to do the same. Just post this text to your Facebook page or text/email it to everyone you know.Remember, there are just 2 things we are sure of in this world; death and taxes. Given these uncertain times, I suggest you act now. Also, we are all stuck at home, bored. This is something to do and it is risk free. You have nothing to lose except a few minutes of your time and you already used up a few seconds reading this. If nothing else, think of the entertainment value. In other words, temporary relief from boredom.Finally, I do not want to sound like a commercial but..., we are all in this together.
They send out knock-knock jokes in email to try and get you to respond.It usually goes something like this:Them: Knock-KnockYou: Who is it?Them: Do you have time?You: Do you have time who?Them: Do you have time to talk about the lord Jesus Christ our personal savior?
If robot technology has advanced to the point where robots can start to replace humans en mass,and there are many companies that employ a large work force that can be replaced with robots,but said companies need an excuse to lay off said workers so that those workers can be replaced with robots...Do those companies then go to the government and say, "Hey listen, let's have a chat over a few Mexican beers. We need an excuse to lay off our workers so that we can replace then with robots. The economy is going to take a massive hit but in the long run, there will be a massive return. Those laid-off workers will need a living wage. The other workers will need to be told that the world as they know will be a lot different. What can you do?"Would the government then respond with, "We've got just the thing. We just need a name for it. Hey, this Mexican beer is pretty good ;)"
Many ancient societies had rituals for transitioning from boyhood into manhood. Nowadays people can transition into some other gender or even, no gender at all. I wondered if these rituals have any value or merit so I decided to experience one and decide for myself. Many of those societies are gone and the others allow only members to participate. But I realized that many had one thing in common. If you want to be a man, you have to go out and kill something.Living in New York I could have joined a gang or try to become a made man in the mafia by killing someone but that's just too extreme. So I decided to kill a deer instead. Luckily for me, I have a friend from Alabama that was more than willing to take me out and show me the ropes.He showed me what camouflage to get, what type of riffle, ammo, etc. He also taught me how to build a deer blind and stuff like that. He was going to teach me how to track deer but, as it turns out, it is easier to let the deer come to you. All you have to do is lie in wait near a place where deer frequently visit. So we went to the local watering hole. We played a little pool there and after a few beers, we went to the lake to hide behind some bushes and wait for the deer.Like fishing, hunting is better if you're a little drunk. Oh sure, being drunk adds to the possibility of a hunting accident but, if you are not a good hunter, you at least have a good story to tell. kinda like the time Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face with bird shot. That story went viral!We waited a long a time and then we heard this weird noise behind us. It was coming at us fast. It sounded like galloping. We turned and saw this 5 point buck heading towards us at full speed. It all happened so fast but I was able to notice that this buck had empty eye sockets! Before I could determine if he was born that way or if they were poked out somehow, he was plowing right through us and kept on going. My gun went off and, fortunately for my friend, the bullet hit nothing but air. We did not get a deer that day.At this point you're probably wondering, if you did not get a deer nor shoot your friend, what's the point of this story. And I'm getting to that. You see, a blind deer running through the forest at full gallop is bizarre but not as bizarre as what happened next.I was laying on the ground with my mind racing and I was visibly shaken up and disoriented. I would be lying if I said the whole incident wasn't a little creepy and scary. I could still hear that deer galloping away at full speed. Did he lose his eyes during a satanic ritual?I was trying to get my bearings when my friend asked, "Are you aw-right?" And with a shaky voice I responded, "Yeah..., yeah..., sure. What was that?" And with a good old boy southern accent he said, "No eye deer."