Living in New York I could have joined a gang or try to become a made man in the mafia by killing someone but that's just too extreme.  So I decided to kill a deer instead.  Luckily for me, I have a friend from Alabama that was more than willing to take me out and show me the ropes.

He showed me what camouflage to get, what type of riffle, ammo, etc.  He also taught me how to build a deer blind and stuff like that.  He was going to teach me how to track deer but, as it turns out, it is easier to let the deer come to you.  All you have to do is lie in wait near a place where deer frequently visit.  So we went to the local watering hole.  We played a little pool there and after a few beers, we went to the lake to hide behind some bushes and wait for the deer.

Like fishing, hunting is better if you're a little drunk.  Oh sure, being drunk adds to the possibility of a hunting accident but, if you are not a good hunter, you at least have a good story to tell.  kinda like the time Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face with bird shot.  That story went viral!

We waited a long a time and then we heard this weird noise behind us.  It was coming at us fast.  It sounded like galloping.  We turned and saw this 5 point buck heading towards us at full speed.  It all happened so fast but I was able to notice that this buck had empty eye sockets!  Before I could determine if he was born that way or if they were poked out somehow, he was plowing right through us and kept on going.  My gun went off and, fortunately for my friend, the bullet hit nothing but air.  We did not get a deer that day.

At this point you're probably wondering, if you did not get a deer nor shoot your friend, what's the point of this story.  And I'm getting to that.  You see, a blind deer running through the forest at full gallop is bizarre but not as bizarre as what happened next.

I was laying on the ground with my mind racing and I was visibly shaken up and disoriented.  I would be lying if I said the whole incident wasn't a little creepy and scary.  I could still hear that deer galloping away at full speed.  Did he lose his eyes during a satanic ritual?

I was trying to get my bearings when my friend asked, "Are you aw-right?"  And with a shaky voice I responded, "Yeah..., yeah..., sure.  What was that?"  And with a good old boy southern accent he said, "No eye deer."