A french man, a British man and a Scottish man

die and go to see St. Peter.

Saint Peter tells them that they are having a great deal

because it's the Lord's Birthday.

He tells them all that they can go in if they can provide

him with something that reminds them of Christmas.

The French man digs through his pockets and produces a lighter.

"They remind me of a candle." Saint Peter takes it, and lets him in.

After nearly emptying his pockets, the British man

finally produces his car keys and he jingles them.

"They remind me of bells." Saint Peter takes it, and lets him in.

the Scottish man is still furiously searching through his pockets when

he takes out a pair of ladies black, lacy, bikini underwear and

nervously, without thinking, wipes his brow with them.

Saint Peter raises an eye brow and says, "...and this..."

The Scottish man looks at the underwear and says, "Wh..., what... this? These are Carol's..."

;)

http://xmasfun.com/Jokes.aspx

;)

My dictionary defines,

Claustrophobic: fear of mall Santa Clauses. ;)

Short Christmas poem:

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. They'd been worn all week and needed the air. ;)

jungle . jelly . fat . little . smelly . tasty _.

Here's a good one.

http://durbed.deviantart.com/art/The-Christmas-Velociraptor-344392378

What's furry and minty? A polo bear!

I only know terrible christmas jokes xD