I'll give you guys a hint. It has to do with what appeared to be a really sad looking girl that I saw while driving and a really big misunderstanding that happened because of a really thick accent and the fact that I'm practically deaf. It's literally impossible to be a nice person in LA.
So, you should know that I may not appear to be completely innocent on this one and there's some explaining to do. What happened was that I saw this girl who looked like an old college friend. So I ended up pulling over and yelled her name and said,
Again, gonna be really straight forward. IDK if I should tell the rest because it gets super embarrassing and I'm not sure if I should be broadcasting this to the whole world.
So, you know how I said she had a really thick accent? So when I realized it wasn't who I thought it was, I say "Hello." and I asked her what's going on and what she's doing out so late at night. She just replies with "nothing, just looking for a party." So I ask her if she knows where the party she's looking for is because I would be happy to take her there so she doesn't have to walk anymore." She then tells me that the party is anywhere and asked me if I wanted (what I HEARD) a "PBJ." Again, for the record, she had a very thick accent and my hearing aid batteries where probably low.
Anyways, never one to say no to a "PBJ" I was like, "Hell yeah!" In retrospect, I should have wondered why she didn't tell me where the party was. But I was too busy wondering where she was going to get a "PBJ" from when I'm sitting in a car late at night with a perfect stranger. But what happens next is almost too embarrassing to tell. Obviously I hadn't done anything criminal at this point and maybe you guys can guess.
I run through some quick calculations and figure that if this girl has some secret "PBJ" plan that it probably won't take that long or cost that much and I can probably get her home without it being too far out of my way. BUT while I'm thinking all of this she tells me it will be $50!!! now, I'm not stupid, there's no way I'm going to pay $50 for a sandwich no matter how good it is and I'm starting to wonder if she's some nut.
So around this time I'm trying to figure out how to get her out of the car and all I can come up with is to keep her engaged in conversation until I figure something out. So I said, "Where can we go at this time of night for something like that?"
You and I know how crazy that sounds knowing the context of this thread. Anyways, she giggles a bit and looks at me and says something like, "Well, we can go to my place and do it there." In my head I'm like, wait... she's expecting $50... I better lower her expectations because I'm not paying $50 to get rid of her. So I say, "$50 seems like a lot, I could see $20 at MOST but I'm used to paying more like $3. What makes it so special that it is worth $50?"
She's hurt by that question (I can tell) and she says, "Look, my place is right around the corner. I can take care of you for $10." So all of a sudden we're in the price range I'm willing to pay to get her out of the car. But then I start thinking that she was probably on her way home and is maybe a little bit poorer and is trying to be entrepreneurial and make a quick buck. So the next part is the really bad part.
Well, you know, I didn't know what her angle was. Was she trying to make a quick (but honest) buck or con me or what? Also was I in any danger? I did not want to say anything that would trigger her. So I said, "$10 is fine but it literally better be the best one of my life." to which she IMMEDIATELY says, "Oh, it will be, but give me the $10 first." So now I know I'm being scammed. She's going to take the $10 and bolt out of the car. So...., I took out $10 and gave it to her. Within SECONDS there were cops everywhere and I was in cuffs totally confused as hell.
I used to work for the coroner's office. I got a call to pick up a stiff at a hotel. I show up and the body is on the bed, covered by a sheet. Only problem is that it had a hard on. Now I couldn't take it through the hotel lobby like that, so I went into the hallway and found the janitors closet and grabbed a broom. I went back into the room and gave it a good whack. That's when I discovered that I was in the wrong room.
There I was, at a private party at the Playboy Club in Denver. I was putting the moves on a particularly beautiful bunny.. To say the least, I was thrilled when she handed me a napkin with her phone number on it..
So, I called..
She was gushing, and was equally thrilled that I called her.. We made a date.. I couldn't wait. When she opened the door, you could SEE the disappointment on her face.. Clearly, she thought I was somebody else..
SUPER STUPID comes up with INSANE STORY that does not have any EVIDENCE to backup the LIE the BUZZFEED BOY just told ! By the way folks the RESIDENT IDIOT does not know it spent time in the China Sea during it's false tour in Vietnam. SUPER STUPID and IRON EYES Phillips have one thing in common they are both LIARS !!!!!!!!!
SUPER STUPID comes up with INSANE STORY that does not have any EVIDENCE to backup
Hello poochy boy:
Dude! It's a STORY, NOT a report.. Stories don't HAVE evidence.. You really ARE fucked up.. But, PLEASE don't go anywhere.. You are the BEST thing the left has going..
Now here is what SUPER STUPID said - There I was, at a private party at the Playboy Club in Denver. I was putting the moves on a particularly beautiful bunny.. To say the least, I was thrilled when she handed me a napkin with her phone number on it..
So, I called..
She was gushing, and was equally thrilled that I called her.. We made a date.. I couldn't wait. When she opened the door, you could SEE the disappointment on her face.. Clearly, she thought I was somebody else..
It was the worst - the WORST.
You met this babe and she did not know who you were ????????? LMMFAO !!!!
BOY you cannot do anything other than LIE !!!!!!!!!!
I saw a friend of mine walking to school so I picked her up. She had a paper bag with her which she put on the floor by her feet but she was acting all nervous and that made me nervous too. So I asked her, "What's in the bag?" And she said, "What's it to you?" Anyway, to make a long story short (my wife is calling me to go walk the dogs with her) we got into a big fight with me screaming, "WHAT'S IN THE BAG" and her screaming "WHAT'S IT TO YOU?" So I pulled over and told her to get the hell out of my car. She slammed the door as she quickly got out but not before looking over shoulder as if she was checking to see if we were being followed??? I was really mad by this time (Hell, I'm getting angry just retelling this story!) and I burned rubber as I pulled away from the curb and back into traffic. It wasn't until I was almost to school that I noticed that she had forgotten the bag. The embarrassing part was when I had to face her again in class and give her her bag back. To this day I cannot understand why it was so hard for her to understand that she had put me in an awkward situation. She never even apologized or anything. Nothing! Our friendship fell apart because of it. I'll finish this later, I have to go walk the pups.