I have been married for over 30 years so there are a few things I have learned... very few :)

Most of us know that the majority of women live in the realm of emotions more so than logic, and men just the opposite.

Men have a hard time understanding what gets a woman in a bad mood. This is one reason why Jolie says a man is ready for marriage when he simply says he is sorry rather than spending the days of arguing and lost intimacy it will take to try and defend the obvious logical reality. Hey! kind of like I keep saying when debating Liberals :) Are all Liberal's actually women? So to all you Liberals out there.... I'm sorry :)

It's very hard for a man to simply say he is sorry when he has no clue what he did. So for all the young ignorant men entering into the world of marriage(men who know not what I speak), I would like to try and save you years of torment.

First of all, and this is very important. No matter how well you defend your position and what you think you are arguing over, no matter how clearly you prove your point, IT MATTERS NOT!

The first thing you MUST know, is that when she all of a sudden gets in a terrible mood, starts complaining about your clothes on the floor, how much tv you watch, the many project you have not finished, etc. etc. etc...... it has little to do with her complaints. You can litterally spend hours, days, maybe weeks, logically proving yourself, defending yourself. You can precisely explain in detail how she also leaves her clothes on the floor, how she watches the H&G;channel on TV, how she has yet to finish many of her projects around the house, etc. etc. etc. but guess what? It most times has nothing to do with those things!

I have found through many years of argueing, many lost nights of intimacy, etc. that most times, her anger stems from a couple things.

She may have had a bad day at work and needs to vent on the one person she can trust enough to handle it. When she walks through the door and starts pointing out your shoes on the floor, or how much tv you are watching and asking why that project is not done, etc. etc..... DO NOT and I mean DO NOT think for one second she is in a bad mood because of your shoes. Simply give her a hug and say you are sorry.

The other thing I believe creates the majority of arguments in a marriage is insecurity. Since men are typically more logical and less emotional, they don't see the importance of expressing their love through little gestures.... bringing home flowers for absolutely no reason, telling her you've got the dishes tonight, remembering the six month anniversary(men have a bad memory when it comes to specific dates), etc., etc.

I believe in a woman's mind, when her man ignores those little gestures, it means he does not love her as much as he should. Her insecurities start surfacing. Is she gaining weight? Is he no longer attracted to her? Is he looking at other women? These isecurites usually surface in the form of arguments over said clothes on the floor etc. and the man has no clue what just happened.

So I guess the conclusion of my experience would be to say.... stop the endless cycle of arguments because there will be no winner. Save time, swallow your ego, and simply say I'm sorry :)

There are so many of them who would say "sorry" a million time and yet do not mean it. Being sorry doesn't qualify you for marriage. I think,maturity in all areas does qualify you,financially,morally,and in character.Able to endure and understand your partner does qualify you for marriage.

Now after saying you are sorry, the most important thing keeping marriages together is commitment.

Why do you think there were far fewer divorces 50 yeras ago? Do you think men and women did not argue and fight over the same things we fight about today? They did! Do you think men and women were not tempted to fool around, or to see if the grass is greener on the other side. They were!

The huge difference in today's no fault culture, is that the moral values once lifted up in America are being separated one by one. People in boring marriages 50 years ago cared more for their children's happiness, then their own. People believed that divorce was not an option and therefore did everything in their power to keep it together. Giving up was not an option.

Today we hear people saying that if you are not happy in your marriage, leave him or her for the next person you think will bring you happiness. The kids will get over it right?

Obviously there are abusive people in this world and some divorces can not be helped, but I believe those situations are the minority of divorces today. I believe we are living in a self love culture, and for many the values from our Christian heritage are no longer followed.

Tody we have so many people living together, fearful of commitment, fearful of their spouse leaving them and taking half of everything they own through no fault divorces. The kids are the ones truly hurt by this culture.

I personlly believe that without faith in God, mankind will excuse anything for sake of personal happiness. There are no longer core values keeping many marriages together. As soon as the honeymoon is over, people seem to think everything is suppose to be perfect in marriage. Those marriages do not exist and no matter how many divorces you have, no matter how many people you live with, there will never be that perfect relationship.

I believe when two people trust one another, and never give up, that commitment creates a deeper more fulfilling marriage.