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While I'm sure this debate has been set up for humourous purposes, I feel that I should make a point on the subject, considering the range of viral discussion occurring at this time on the issue in question. Also, my expertise might be valued on the events as I've got a PhD in Politics and Imperial History.
In 1783, the Russian Black Sea Fleet was founded (a few months before the United States signed the Treaty of Paris), it was based in Sevastopol at a port which was also founded at the same time, this port is situated on the Crimean peninsula and provided the Russia fleet a strategic control point in the Black Sea and, by extension, the Mediterranean.
It was until 1954 that the Crimean Region was transferred to Ukraine as a symbolic gesture to commemorate the 300th anniversary of Ukraine being part of the Russian Empire, at this time it wasn't conceivable for Ukraine to ever leave the empire and this action also served the purpose of increasing the efficiency of the bureaucratic system as the Crimean Region could be managed by the Ukrainian province alone instead of having it managed by both the Ukrainian provincial management and the Russian government.
It was only until the break up of the Soviet Union that Russia and Ukraine divided, however with the departure of the recent Pro-Russian Ukrainian president it is understandable that Putin fears of Russian access to the Sevastopol port being limited if Ukraine joins the European Union, in addition to this a high proportion of the ethnic composition of the Crimean region is Russian, in the 2001 census 58.32% of the population in Crimea was Russian.
One should consider this points before hastily taking a stance on the issue and before calling anybody a hypocrite.