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Hey, CD. Someone flagged this entry, and I'm going to keep reposting it until I get a goddamn notification as to why. It's bad enough that users don't get notified when an argument is removed.
Ann Coulter Quotes:
"Congress could pass a law tomorrow requiring that all aliens from Arabic countries leave....We should require passports to fly domestically. Passports can be forged, but they can also be checked with the home country in case of any suspicious-looking swarthy males."
"[Clinton] masturbates in the sinks."
"God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'"
The "backbone of the Democratic Party" is a "typical fat, implacable welfare recipient"
To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."
"Women like Pamela Harriman and Patricia Duff are basically Anna Nicole Smith from the waist down. Let's just call it for what it is. They're whores."
Juan Gonzales is "Cuba's answer to Joey Buttafuoco," a "miscreant," "sperm-donor," and a "poor man's Hugh Hefner."
On Princess Diana's death: "Her children knew she's sleeping with all these men. That just seems to me, it's the definition of 'not a good mother.' ... Is everyone just saying here that it's okay to ostentatiously have premarital sex in front of your children?"
"I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote."
"I think [women] should be armed but should not [be allowed to] vote."
"If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country."
"It's enough [to be impeached] for the president to be a pervert."
"Clinton is in love with the erect penis."
"Originally, I was the only female with long blonde hair. Now, they all have long blonde hair."
"I am emboldened by my looks to say things Republican men wouldn't."
"Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend."
"The thing I like about Bush is I think he hates liberals."
"The swing voters---I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster."
"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."
"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."
"When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty. We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors."
"Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy."
"The New York Times ran a Tom Tomorrow cartoon sneering about Americans who believe with 'unwavering faith in an invisible omniscient deity who favors those born in the middle of the North American land mass.' This is how liberals conceive of America: an undifferentiated land mass in the middle of North America."
"There are no good Democrats."
"FENN: Terrific. We're Americans, so we should consume as much of the earth's resources...
COULTER: Yes! Yes.
FENN: ... as fast as we possibly can.
COULTER: As opposed to living like the Indians. "
"I love Texas Republicans! They're these beautiful women, they're so great-looking, they're completely loaded. They're dripping in this gorgeous jewelry, they're really funny and sarcastic and smart. Americans are so cool, and they're such parochial idiots here in New York."
[I know these Texan Republicans. I lol'd.]
"Cheney is my ideal man. Because he's solid. He's funny. He's very handsome. He was a football player. People don't think about him as the glamour type because he's a serious person, he wears glasses, he's lost his hair. But he's a very handsome man. And you cannot imagine him losing his temper, which I find extremely sexy. Men who get upset and lose their tempers and claim to be sensitive males: talk about girly boys. No, there's a reason hurricanes are named after women and homosexual men, it's one of our little methods of social control. We're supposed to fly off the handle.
"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."
"If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot."
"I was going to have a few comments about John Edwards but you have to go into rehab if you use the word faggot."
"I'm more of a man than any liberal."
“Americans understand that Manhattan is the Soviet Union.”
"When you look at Pat Robertson’s positions, they are really quite moderate"
"[Anti-war Democrats are] desperately dying to provide aid and support to al-Qaeda."
"Not all Muslims may be terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslims. "
"Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether. "
[Okay, that was pretty funny.]
"Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity (as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of 'kill everyone who doesn't smell bad and doesn't answer to the name Mohammed')."
[Yeah, we should all be nice and not preach violence, just like Ann Coulter.]
"These people can't even wrap up genocide. We've been hearing about this slaughter in Darfur forever — and they still haven't finished. The aggressors are moving like termites across that country. It's like genocide by committee. Who's running this holocaust in Darfur, FEMA? This is truly a war in which we have absolutely no interest. "
"For six years, the Bush administration has kept America safe from another terrorist attack, allowing the Democrats to claim that the war on terrorism is a fraud, a "bumper sticker," a sneaky ploy by a power-mad president to create an apocryphal enemy so he could spy on innocent librarians in Wisconsin. And that's the view of the moderate Democrats. The rest of them think Bush was behind the 9/11 attacks."
"That's our job: drilling, mining and stripping. Sweaters are the anti-Biblical view. Big gas-guzzling cars with phones and CD players and wet bars — that's the Biblical view. "
"I would like evolution to join the roster of other discredited religions, like the Cargo Cult of the South Pacific. Practitioners of Cargo Cult believed that manufactured products were created by ancestral spirits, and if they imitated what they had seen the white man do, they could cause airplanes to appear out of the sky, bringing valuable cargo like radios and TVs. So they constructed “airport towers” out of bamboo and “headphones” out of coconuts and waited for the airplanes to come with the cargo. It may sound silly, but in defense of the Cargo Cult, they did not wait as long for evidence supporting their theory as the Darwinists have waited for evidence supporting theirs. "
"They're [Democrats] always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment."
"The man responsible for keeping Americans safe from another terrorist attack on American soil for nearly seven years now will go down in history as one of America's greatest presidents. "
"And why is it "homophobic" for Senate Republicans to look askance at sex in public bathrooms? Is the Times claiming that sodomy in public bathrooms is the essence of being gay? I thought gays just wanted to get married to one another and settle down in the suburbs so they could visit each other in the hospital. "
"In 1960, whites were 90 percent of the country. The Census Bureau recently estimated that whites already account for less than two-thirds of the population and will be a minority by 2050. Other estimates put that day much sooner. One may assume the new majority will not be such compassionate overlords as the white majority has been. If this sort of drastic change were legally imposed on any group other than white Americans, it would be called genocide. Yet whites are called racists merely for mentioning the fact that current immigration law is intentionally designed to reduce their percentage in the population. "
"When we were fighting communism, OK, they had mass murderers and gulags, but they were white men and they were sane. Now we're up against absolutely insane savages."
"… as for catching Osama, it's irrelevant. Things are going swimmingly in Afghanistan."
"Muslims are the only people who make feminists seem laid-back. "
"You don't want the Republicans in power, does that mean you want a dictatorship, gay boy?"
"And of course there are the 39 million greedy geezers collecting Social Security. The greatest generation rewarded itself with a pretty big meal. "
"We'll drive off the side of that bridge when we come to it, Senator Kennedy."
I collected a shit ton of these quotes, because it's endlessly amusing to read the words of this hermaphroditic comedy gold mine.
It's interesting, because these gender assignments really affect how they look at the items. In a language where boats are feminine, the speaker is more likely to describe them as graceful or beautiful. If boats are masculine in their language, they're more likely to call them powerful or something like that.
Linguistic Relativity FTW
What he's talking about is the polar realignment set to happen anytime soon. I forget if it's anywhere near 2012 or not, though. But yes, it happens periodically when the sun aligns directly with the black hole in the center of the Milky Way. Basically all the chaos you can imagine from our planet starting to rotate a different way.
I was gonna post where I read this, but I guess they really are wacky sites. I thought I read it somewhere legitimate at first though :(