Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
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Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?" Side: Southern Republican
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Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. Side: Democrat
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Well, i guess in this case i'm a Southern Republican. And it's pretty funny how true this shit is... But in the end, the Democrat, if facing this scenario in reality, will probably kill the guy. yes, they don't like to admit it now that they are for killing islamic terrorists, but if you ever see "The Hills Have Eyes", we give in to our violent nature. Side: Southern Republican
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What would i do? Well firstly, if i am truly an awesome shot, i would shoot the knife! Really, i see no point in killing this man, just because of his beliefs. Him saying Allah Akbar is no different from everyone else saying "Oh my God!" Ok, he wants to kill me because of his religion. Obviously i'm not going to react kindly. If i could, id sit down with him and have a nice long chat. Why do you say "some Islamic terrorist" by the way. Bit racist? You get terrorists form all countries! Side: Republican
Actually I'm a democrat, and I wouldn't have asked any of those questions, and I certainly wouldn't need a Glock. Unlike you pussy republicans that can only solve your problems with guns, I have big balls, and would beat that little bitch into weeping submission with my hands. Yeah, you Republicans are such queezy little church mice, you're afraid to get your hands bloody. Me, I like to go to bars, find someone with a cowboy hat and a truck, then start calling him a homo until he tries something, then I beat the crap out of them, and tell their friends they just got their ass beat by a "bleeding heart liberal." It's so fun. Side: Republican
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