Keep your sick fantasies to yourself.

Would you rather the picture be of some fat dudes hairy ass crack

Yes, I would.

Would you rather the picture be of some fat dudes hairy ass crack

Good point, and eww thanks for the disturbing mental picture.

Do birds not have butt cheeks under their feathers ?

Nope, they just have a hole, no cheeks. The definition of butt (AKA Buttocks) is "Either of the two round fleshy parts that form the lower rear area of a human trunk."