I pretty well agree with you on most parts. I think it probably dates back to when the Catholic church would not allow divorce.King Henry VIII wanted to divorce his wife Catherine and marry Ann Boleyn. He eventually broke away from the Catholic Church due to his desire to divorce and remarry. He started the Church of England, now known as the Episcopal Church.
I would knock off the liberal and take his place on the scale to get away from the rats. I would place the walking stick between me and Sarah so we could both hang on to it to maintain our stability. Then I would ask for some of her extra ammo since I usually carry a Sturm & Ruger .45 on my hip and it was fortunate that she had the same caliber.(By the way, I assume it's Sarah Palin from the description and the inclusion of Russia the scenario.)
I agree with the positioning but disagree about the washing of the hands. I've been through medical training and about to go for more, so I know what can get on your hands(airborne particles you can't see or feel). After thoroughly washing, I won't touch the door with my hands because of those who have handled the door after not washing.