Well there are cases where some people are monogamous and also cases where some people aren't. So I wouldn't say that nobody can be or that everyone can be.

I just wonder is there an alternative to monogamy that suits humans better, and why our attitudes towards it are so fixed.

I recently read a very interesting book, putting across the point that absolute monogamy is a very recent state of affairs for our species.

That pre-farming when our ancestors were hunter gatherers, they used to live in small groups or tribes. In these tribes the author argued that they weren't monogamous at all. That females regularly had sex with different members of the tribe, and despite this, the males weren't aggressive towards each other. This was because there wasn't a need to compete for mating privileges, and also because parental certainty wasn't important.

So I suppose basically what I'm curious about, are your and others opinions on wether monogamy goes against our nature? Cheers

As I said in my original post, I believe that monogamy is born out the nature of our species (long gestation periods and child-rearing phases) but so also the propensity to cheat (always being able to be sexually active, boredom). As society has progressed, it becomes easier and easier for a woman to live safely and comfortably while pregnant regardless if she has a partner to help her, as well as becoming easier for a single-parent to raise children. It might be that monogamy has outlived its usefulness. Then again, monogamy should somewhat reduce the transmission of std's and reduce unwanted pregnancies, so its not totally without merit.

There are other reasons for monogamy, that may not be so practical or noble though. Notably a sense of possession and ownership over another person. The feeling of self-worth you get when someone dedicates themselves to you. It makes you feel like you have value.

I used to be purely mongamous. I tried to avoid one-night stands like the plague and couldn't wrap my head around the "friends-with-benefits" scenarios. I didn't judge others for those lifestyle choices, it just didn't work for me, and I missed out on a lot of sexual oportunities because of my hard-line stance since most of the women I was attracting had no interest in a comitted relationship, at least not with me. As time went on, I asked myself why did I feel so strong about this. I don't have children so even the biological imperative was irrelevent. Eventually, I decided that I would take the next friends with benefits scenario that came my way, and avoid more committed relationships until I tested other waters. And I really liked it better that way the first time. The second time though I fell DEEPLY in love with the friend I was sleeping with, but she could not fully reciprocate, so when it was all over it tore me apart and nearly destroyed this really good friendship.

So now, I realize that my approach needs to be adapted to the situation and I need to know ahead of time what kind of scenario she's looking for. The intensity of my feelings and the way she treats her romantic entanglements determines what I am willing to do and not do. And although I intend to stay flexible, I've got to protect my heart and not accept less than what I naturally desire from whatever person is before me.