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Joe_Cavalry All Day Every Day

Debate Info

True Wait..., what? No!!!
Debate Score:35
Total Votes:35
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 True (13)
 Wait..., what? No!!! (13)

Debate Creator

joecavalry(40147) pic

Multi-step plan designed to get rid of illegals forever

Illegals have a traditional family structure.  If we want to get rid of illegals, we have to destroy their traditional family structure.  We do this through the following methods:
1.  Legalize marijuana and hand it out in high school, along with condoms.
2.  Allow schools to facilitate abortions without the parents consent/knowledge.
3.  Legalize gay marriage.
4.  Remove "In God we trust" from our money and declare that the U.S. is an atheist country.


Side Score: 16

Wait..., what? No!!!

Side Score: 19

Illegals will start heading back in droves once the husbands come home and their house is dark and their pots are cold. Their wives have been hanging around Jane and Joan and who knows who. And their wives are like, "Half Pedro. I want half!!!!" ;)

Side: True

This is the first one of your debates I have agreed with Joe. You've stumbled upon a great idea. I have one addition though:

Since illegals apparently hate Mexico (they'd do anything to leave after all), we should get more Mexicans in the U.S. Now all we have to do is find a large number of Mexicans who want to live in the U.S. Any ideas where we could find that SeƱor?

Side: True

You do realize that a Hispanic majority would put gay marriage on the back burner, right?

Side: True
1 point

Illegals will start heading back in droves once the husbands come home and their house is dark and their pots are cold. Their wives have been hanging around Jane and Joan and who knows who. And their wives are like, "Half Pedro. I want half!!!!" ;)

Exactly. We all know how Mexican husbands want their wives to stay at home away from work...

One other point to add:

Make sombreros illegal and get rid of all hammocks so illegals can't take afternoon-long naps.

Side: True

You know, you may be onto something there. That's so crazy it may work ;)

Side: True
Axmeister(4322) Disputed
1 point

"Illegals will start heading back in droves once the husbands come home and their house is dark and their pots are cold. "


Side: Wait..., what? No!!!

Everyone else will just find somebody who won't make them feel like a clown. ;)

Side: True
1 point

Oh man. Even if it didn't work, I'd totally be up for that.

Side: True
5 points

I agree with comedian Steve Byrne's idea... Mexicans want to come to America because we tempt them by putting a state right on the border called New Mexico. So what we have to do is annex Canada and rename it Newer Mexico. They'll go right through our county in search of the newest and most exciting version of their country. ;)

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!
2 points

I would just put Border Patrol on orders to shoot at anybody who tries to cross, issue an executive order ordering the immediate deportation of all illegal immigrants and their children and build a real wall/fence.

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!
1 point

even better you americans can use the mexican immagration system to your advantage just say that because mexicans keep immagrating to the U.S they want the U.S and Mexico to "unite" so you could then seize control of Mexico

the only flaw in the plan is that it doesn't solve immagration whatsever

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!

Why would we want Mexico as part of our country. It's hot and has a really bad pollution/smog problem. They have little to no resources and that would mean a ton of new welfare recipients that would bankrupt America.

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!
2 points

Simpler idea.

Make the border a death course with tons of traps... have it watched by video cameras. Make it a game show. Anyone who crosses the border successfully gets the citizenship (they deserve it, you get the best of the best in your nation too). Have it televised as a weekly show, watch the ratings go up and boost the economy.

However I would totally be up for what you said (the US already is a secular nation... the in god we trust got added in the 20th century. The "under god" thing came out of the cold war. Not intended at the creation of a nation, unless you take Texan history classes.). More civil rights and business freedoms is what you suggested, and who doesn't want that?

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!
1 point

"Make it a game show."

i like that idea you could do something like "Mexico has talent" where you put 100 mexican immagrants and they say what they can do to benefit the U.S and the public vote for which Mexican they want and the rest get shoved into a blender and sold as shark bait

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!
JayAr(182) Disputed
1 point

If you want the short version look below this long paragraph on my views...

Your suggestion just promotes Videocracy and Logocracy, neither of which I care for... game shows (with a couple of exceptions) make a nation weaker by giving the people needless entertainment which offers no improvements of self/community, rather than say some shows in which teach you skills you want to know (How to use a gun efficiently(US & Swiss only), how to run a business... How to program software, how to get into politics, ect.) As in the long run it would strengthen the people, rather than make them non-knowledgeable.

I meant the suggestion as a joke! If you want that type of show go on ahead, in fact I think many people would want one like that. ( you could get [$]rich[/$]).

Have to go...

Side: True
1 point

I still like my "giant nuclear turbo laser wall of utter death and authority" idea better.

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!

Just dig a massive trench at the border and fill it with half-starved crocodiles. After that, a minefield, after that an army of hispanophobic death robots, after that a WALL OF DEATH, and if all that fails, let the last line of defence be a group of shotgun toting, deep southern hicks. Hey Ma! Them there Mexicans have evaderated the defences, lets whack them sons o' bitches!

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!

Haha. We can pay the hicks in bullets and booze. *

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!
1 point

"1. Legalize marijuana and hand it out in high school, along with condoms."

bringing up a generation of drug addicts and prostitutes

"2. Allow schools to facilitate abortions without the parents consent/knowledge."

now you've unleashed a generation of rapists

"3. Legalize gay marriage."

rapists turn gay

"4. Remove "In God we trust" from our money and declare that the U.S. is an atheist country."

if you dont decalre yourself a christian country hoardes of muslims will pop out of nowwhere buy up your streets and demand mosques(trust me its happening in england)

Alternative plan:

1) make an announcement on national news stating that all immagrants have a chance to evacuate the country

2)block off all forms of entering and exiting the country(dont know how you will do this)

3) elect someone like hitler as ruler of you're country(when I say like Hitler I mean he adopts Hitlers strartegies to get rid of immagrants)

4)remove all immagrants rights of every possible form

5) get into mobs and burn all the immagrants

6)finnaly when its all over open up your country again and see if any immagrants come then

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!
JustinSG19(12) Disputed
1 point

Axmeister, your number 2 and 3 are agreeable. I must dispute number one and four though.

1. Marijuana has no addictive chemicals whatsoever. Not mentally, not physically. The only addicts are the losers who regardless of marijuana, wouldn't be doing anything with their lives anyway. There are quite a lot of successful people who smoke a little marijuana. Prostitution is not related to marijuana use.

Why it should be legal: Does not cause cancer, is impossible to overdose on, does not cause intoxication, does not kill brain cells, does not cause addiction. Also, it has hundreds of medicinal uses that are valid:

To say that ingesting some marijuana to relieve pain is wrong is retarded. Why? Any ER will likely give you Tylenol with Codeine, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Tramadol. Etc. These drugs are all opiate derivitives, with tramadol being an analgesic synthetic opiate. These drugs cause physical and psychological addiction, yet the addicts can keep going back to the ER and getting more and more of them. Hell, they can go to ten ER's in a day, get one prescription filled for free per week thanks to medical insurance, and the rest pay out of their pockets. The going rate for a bottle of vicodin at the drug store (quantity up to 40) is 15 dollars. The street price per pill ranges from 3 - 5 dollars per pill. So in this way the government is funding a whole other kind of drug abuse. Prescription meds.

Also, drugs like prozac for anxiety/depression are ridiculous. It's basically legal ecstacy (being that it's very very close in chemical structure to methylenedioxymethamphetamine aka ecstacy), yet the difference is that pure ecstacy isn't actually harmful, but prozac is very harmful. Not only does pure ecstacy not cause mental or physical addiction, it's also impossible to overdose on. It doesn't cause "holes" in the brain, and doesn't cause intoxication. It doesn't cause violence, and doesn't cause everyone to want to have sex. Too many people think ecstacy is a sex drug, when it's the fact that street ecstacy pills contain only up to 60 mg of pure ecstacy, any the rest of the 160 mg tablet is a whole mess of other things. A lot of times rupheline is sold as ecstacy, "roofy's" are the date rape drug, ecstacy is not. You can thank the government for this, because if it was legal, it would be synthesized by actual pharmacologists, be pure, and be sold in pharmacies for cheaper than any street version.

Same with marijuana. Gangs would lose their source of income. Organizations like the mexican cartel would lose their source of income. Crime would not be related to drugs in any way, and no one would be able to sell the drugs cheaper than the government. Not only does making ecstacy cost an initial investment of 3000 dollars for the chemical apparatus, but the actual chemicals needed can only be bought in low amounts, as not to have the D.E.A. knocking at the door. The best someone could do is order 1 fluid ounce of 91 percent sassafras oil per month, for 8 months, then wait 4 months, and do it again. Seeing as how 160 grams of pure safrole is needed to make 15 grams of pure ecstacy, and things like dimethylformamide, p-benzoquinone, palladium, and a host of other chemicals needed cost a hell of a lot. They could not a. afford to make the drugs and sell them pure; and B. they could not sell pure, or diluted drugs for cheaper than the government.

So really, instead of our experimental teenagers paying the drug cartel's pockets, our government would be seeing a hefty amount in taxes, as well as spending 8 billion tax dollars LESS per year on putting teenagers who possess a gram of marijuana in jail. WE pay that money for them to fill the prisons with marijuana possessors, yet they should be getting the rapists and actual criminals.

My argument to number 4. Who the hell cares with religion. Let them build their mosques, is it really affecting your life? Is it affecting me? Not at all. Should christian churches be allowed to build near muslim neighborhoods? See? Saying they can't, opens up a hell of a lot of reason for every other religion to be penalized for thousands of reasons. Also, no religion is actually better than another, because none are following the original hebrew scripture verbatim. Ten commandments? How about the other how many hundred?

Each religion seems to pick out what they want to follow, depending on their agenda, and say it's being a believer. No. Being a believer is following the Lord's original world, and the original scripture. Not just attending mass and saying you believe. Not committing sin daily because you think the Lord's son died so that you can KNOWINGLY and WILLINGLY sin DAILY. No, His death was supposed to be something to learn from. People have somehow twisted the original scripture into such a piece of disgusting text... That I don't see the point. Saying that someone died so you could continue to sin? What was the point? Think about it. The Lord, being all knowing, would not have done something he A. Knew was going to happen, and B. wasn't meant to teach a lesson.

So come on people, this is just ridiculous. Any modern religion isn't better than any other, and if you haven't read the original scripture translation verbatim, and you don't follow that word, you aren't better than athiests. You are basically choosing to worship a false God, seeing as how you worship false text. So, grow up America. Seems daily I am more disgusted to have been born in this country.

Side: Wait..., what? No!!!